Love Your Enemies: How Decent People Can Save America from the Culture of Contempt (2019)
By: Arthur Brooks

What is more destructive to a long term relationship anger or contempt? I know the answer I would have given when I started this book and the conclusion I have now is different. Expressed anger is a way of communicating with someone else. It is destructive, but it is atleast a way of dialoguing externally with that person or group. Contempt on the other hand cuts communication off: there is no mechanism to exchange ideas and thoughts.

Brooks goes into the political society that is in the USA today to provide commentary and propose a remedy to the culture of contempt. I found the solution salient and true: to look on others not just with tolerance, or appreciation, but with love.

When Brooks defines love, he segregates the feeling of love from the actions of love. He specifically advocates showing love to others despite not feeling love towards them. By doing what is right instead of what feels right, you and I can change. And with these changed people (ourselves) our political mechanisms will follow.

This is indeed a tall order. But, instead of focusing on how to change others, Brooks has taken the goal of changing yourself. Others may choose to change, but they are not your responsibility, you are. You should choose to love and you can make that choice.